If theres one thing I can tell you about male feminism, its that its rarely understood. In a world where the ‘F word’ is that of much controversy within a woman’s world alone, its an even stranger case when being male. Indeed, ladies and gentlemen, if you did not know, I do (and have done so for some years) consider myself a feminist.
Yes, I know, thats a bit unusual. I’ve known that for a while and have encountered some rather bewildered (and often worrying) responses to my declaration.
First of all, guys who for whatever reason seem to think that the concept of male feminism is impossible. Yes, I am aware I am not female and no, I am not gay (not that it would make any difference if I was, I mean think about it genius). I just believe that everyone should be given an equal stead in life, regardless of skin colour, heritage, wealth, sexuality or indeed gender. That latter part is literally what being a feminist is about.
Not that it is just guys who challenge my opinion, I’ve often had comments from girls who seem to think I use feminism to provoke attention. In many cases I have been accused of lying so girls will want to sleep with me when in fact I would be safe to say it has altered many girls’ judgement of me. Thankfully my rather rad girlfriend is a feminist and the talks we have had regarding feminism have served to only make our relationship stronger in knowing we support and agree with one another.
There are then those of both gender who say I can support feminism but I can’t be a feminist because I am not a woman. I disagree, in my opinion as long as someone has an invested interest in a cause they are free to join it as they please.
Anyway, my point here isn’t that being a male feminist is hard, its complicated sure, but not that hard. Any grief that comes my way I have learnt to brush off as straight up ignorance and as a white male with a long term girlfriend and a job, I am far from suffering. My point is, why does is it have to be such a weird thing?
A few months ago I admitted to a rather blokey friend of mine that I was a feminist and did not always feel comfortable about the way many men talk about women in casual ‘banter’. I am not a prude by any means (I admittedly often enjoy laughing at others, male or female) but in particular, when a ‘joke’ puts a woman in a vulnerable or derogatory light, I won’t laugh and its often noticed.
Anyway this friend of mine, whilst seemingly understanding, obviously did not agree with me and made a remark suggesting I was somehow less of a man. I can tell you now, I am a man, I am just not a lad.
Indeed the stigma of not being a lad is difficult in male dominated culture, especially in Britain. In a time in which my generation find themselves encouraged to act like idiots, proving their ‘manliness’ with drink, sport and namely sex, often ending in the hideous mistreatment of girls, I find myself quite disgusted. I know, I am not the only male who thinks like this, but I am the only man I know to call themselves a feminist. Why??
There is a grim stain across the popular habits of my generation; full of sexism, racism, homophobia and general prejudice that just ends up being tolerated as innocent ‘banter’. In terms of sexism, lad culture continues to make a mockery of women purely relating to the expectations set by a misogynistic world. As long as this kind of behaviour continues, the basic human freedoms of getting jobs, having opinions, as well as more trivial acts of wearing what you like and walking down the street are tarnished.
I believe in feminism just as I believe in racial and sexual equality, and the more people who take the time to support equality vocally the better. Woman or man, if you believe in equal opportunity, you need to show it and support the cause without worry. For the guys in particular, as tempting as it may be to join in with banter, if you know its wrong, take pride in your reason and don’t laugh, you know you’re smarter than that. Theres no need to be ashamed when you’re doing whats right. Don’t be a lad, be a man.
If you fancy reading more about male views on feminism take a look at this Guardian article here, a truly insightful piece from another likeminded believer of equality that actually influenced the writing of this post: gu.com/p/3mea4/tw
(A tiny apology for the lack of posts, will try and write more!)
Shame Chamber 